Birthdays aren't so Bad ~ Part I

I really, really did not want to have a birthday this year. I even considered flying to a remote island until the month was over in order to avoid it.(no, not seriously) But, I was anxious about it. Maybe because I have had some bad experiences with birthdays. It may have started with 16- kind of a letdown- no dating or driving and some of my friends ended up having a big argument and making the party awkward and unpleasant for everyone.

33 was a rough one. Just having moved, I kind of planned my own party, which felt awkward. It was a good learning experience though. I learned that it is better to ask for what you really want. I really wanted to go to the temple and have waffles with my closest girl friends- maybe on the Saturday before, and then on the actual day to go someplace nice or just new and adventurous with Mr. B.(the guy I was dating)

Honestly, it was a good day. I had a great boyfriend who brought me flowers and my favorite ice cream and gave me tickets to see Matt Kearney in concert. I had sweet friends who met up for dinner and many who came from across the valley in a snow storm. I appreciated all of it, really. But, I should have told my dear friends when they asked what I really wanted. Maybe if I had been in the habit of doing that-of not holding back, of trusting, and of believing that what I felt and what I wanted was worthwhile and good, I would have enjoyed the day, and maybe my relationship with Mr. B. would have lasted a little longer. Maybe I would not have felt so empty and alone after everyone went home. But, I am grateful for the learning experience, and for the friends who put up with me as I continue to work on becoming more open and expressive.
Here is an excerpt from notes I wrote to myself on Oct 20, 2009: "I don't know why I planned the whole party thing... to be cool maybe. But I would rather be real, so I am going to work on that."

I promise most of my postings will be positive, but, notice, this is only Part I. It gets better.

34

For my thirty-fourth birthday I am starting a blog. Thanks to Palmyra for encouraging me to do it even though I told her that I didn't need to until I got married and started having kids. ;)
I like lists, movie lists, book lists, wish lists... So, I thought that for my first entry, I would do a list- of 34 things. The first 20 come from the Recapturing Beauty 10 Challenge organized by BYU Women's Services last month. One of the challenges was to list 10 things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with the physical, and 10 things that you like about your body.

So, here it is.

Non-Physical

1. I like that I surround myself with great people. I have amazing friends and have dated really good guys. If birds of a feather flock together- then I must be pretty great.

2. I am a very good cook. I like that I make yummy health food and that I enjoy healthy foods.

3. I am smart.

4. I am a hugger. I like that I love peole and love to show it by listening and hugging.

5. I like that I am kind, don't get offended easily, and am usually pretty quick to forgive.

6. I have fun ideas, and I like that I can get people together for fun times.

7. I like that I enjoy singing in the shower, and I have a pretty good voice. Or at least, I enjoy using it, and that is what counts. :)

8. I always want to do good and generally make good choices.

9. I have always been responsible and good at caring for people.

10. I like that I am adventurous.

Physical

1. I have a cute smile.

2. I like the shape and fulness of my lips.

3. I have a cute Thompson bum.

4. I am fit and can run and dance.

5. My eyes are a pretty color.

6. I like that I am petite.

7. I tan well.

8. I have great calves.

9. Cute haircuts.

10. Nice arms.

and to finish it off...

14 things I am grateful for:

1. A strong, loving family.

2. Supportive friends.

3. A testimony of the gospel.

4. The gift and guidance of the Spirit.

5. Health

6. Mountains glowing pink.

7. Beautiful skyscapes- sunbeams, sunsets, sunrises, and cloud displays.

8. Music that inspires, uplifts, energizes, or calms the soul.

9. The scriptures, living prophets, and general conference.
10. Gardens with beautiful flowers, or delicious and colorful vegetables.

11. Temples

12. Animals- especially horses, and elephants, and bunny rabbits, and cute little puppies, and those great therapy animals that are so well-behaved and help people feel better.

13. Good books

14. America- our inspired constitution, and the freedom we enjoy -thanks to those who are willing to defend it.