A Dating Project

A few weeks ago, I went to a fireside at our midsingles branch. Our Branch Presidency each spoke about how they met and married their spouses. I was surprised to learn that our President and his wife had both been married before. He talked about how scared he was to date, how after his divorce he had decided he would simply avoid relationships and finish raising his kids alone. And then he met his wife, and they got to know each other. They connected and he faced his fears and they are together and happy. He told us to be happy and to enjoy this part of our lives.

I had just ended things with another great man, and was feeling somewhat tired and frustrated with the whole dating scene. When President Norton said we should enjoy this single phase of our lives, it hit me. I needed to do something different. I need a new dating paradigm. Dating has been a big part of my life for more than a decade. So, I should enjoy it. It should be fun. As I left that night's activity, feeling anxious about the ups and downs of another evening of socializing with singles, I felt like I needed to read the book 31 Dates in 31 Days. In it Tamara describes her experiences with creating and living her own dating project. As I finished reading about all of the things she learned and the ways she grew, I realized I needed to do this too. So, I emailed Tamara, the author, and asked for her Dating Boot Camp Starter Kit. It's strange, but all of this has felt totally inspired. Perhaps because it coincided with a renewed commitment to spend time studying my scriptures and praying, or simply because it is right for me at this time.

So, I am off! 20 First Dates in the month of May. Already, I have had such positive experiences- friends and family have been amazingly supportive. Guys I've asked have been enthusiastic and encouraging. Even those who have turned it down because they are dating someone already, have been really positive about the idea. And I haven't been on the first date yet. I am looking forward to this new adventure. I will be blogging about each date at 20firstdates.blogspot.com. I welcome your thoughts and comments. 

Dr. Oz 48 Hour Cleanse Review

I just finished Dr. Oz's 48 Hour Cleanse. My first day was Sunday and I felt kind of drained and headachy, but I that was probably because I was in the sun a lot and didn't drink as much water as I should have. Monday was Day 2 and I can't remember feeling so good on a Monday in a long time. Today I am still feeling pretty energized and I've noticed that I am not really craving carbs/sugars like I normally do.

As far as the food- the quinoa breakfast was quite good. I liked it best with the prunes chopped up fine so that the sweetness is spread throughout. I liked the green juice, but I am used to that. If you are not as into veggies, I bet the pineapple/pom drink would be really easy and refreshing. The blueberry smoothie was tasty, although it was kind of small for a lunch and left me a bit hungry in the afternoon. Dinner was so so... Be careful when you make the soup. You need a BIG pot. It makes a TON. Tiffany was laughing at me because it looked like one of those over the top shakes until I split it into two pots. It is unclear in the directions if you are supposed to drain off the broth or eat it with the veggies, but I kept my veggies in- just seems more satisfying. The flavor was OK. I added a bit more salt and some hot sauce to make it more interesting. I was surprised that I really liked the sauerkraut and apples. Sauerkraut is supposed to be an excellent probiotic, if you get the good, natural stuff.

The best part? Dr. Oz recommends you take an Epsom Salt bath. I did last night- added some lavender oil, and read a good book. DELIGHTFUL!

If you decide to do this yourself, remember, as with any cleanse, drink A LOT of WATER! I also recommend that you read carefully through the instructions and visit this blog for tips on how to make it more cost efficient.

Here is a pic from the same blog(Just the Right Things) showing the foods she bought to start the cleanse:

The Beauty of Different

"We are all- everyone of us- uniquely, breathtakingly beautiful."  Karen Walrond

Ruth's Chris, Bells Canyon, and Cousins

I've heard a lot about Ruth's Chris and their amazing steaks. Since I don't care much for steak though, I'd never been too interested. Turns out, Ruth's Chris provides a great dining experience even for the less carnivorous. Luckily, we had gift card to use because it is a bit pricey.

It reminded me of the cruise dining experience I had with Grandmom and Gary's fam on the Royal Caribbean over Christmas. We had herbed wild mushrooms for an appetizer- yummy! I actually drank all of the broth, not surprising to some of you. ;)

For dinner, Mr. A. got the Petite Filet and I had Mahi Mahi on a bed of Asian-style vegetables. Both were delicious, and came out still sizzling on 500 degree plates, but I liked mine best.
Dessert was chocolate heaven. A Molten Lava cake with fresh berries and a little chocolate Pots de Creme. Both were divine. It was one of those dining experiences where you actually have to let it melt on your tongue while smiling and closing your eyes.

Saturday morning I did my walk/run- five miles. Later that afternoon we went hiking up Bells Canyon. In the evening, I went for a walk with a friend. Sometimes I feel like I need to move as much as possible on the weekend since I spend so much time sitting at work all week. Plus, when the weather warms, I just can't get enough of being outside.

Sunday was our monthly cousin gathering at Bo and Laura's house. We watched conference and played relay races designed by Melia and then had taco bar and did a lot of visiting. Always good times with the Thompson/McArthur clan.

Hunger Games

Made it through week 1 of my training schedule. Ran 10 miles last week. On Saturday I did 4 miles in under 43 minutes. Way slower than I was when I did my Half in 2010, but better than last week. And I didn't get a headache!

Saw The Hunger Games Saturday night. Wow! I thought it was really well done, and well acted, but it is a horrible story. Honestly, I'm not sure why so many people, including myself, would actually want to see a movie about kids killing each other. The books just kind of suck you in and then you have to see what happens with the romance, and how they find a way to fight the system... I asked Mr. A. what he thought about it, kind of had to drag it out of him, because he was afraid to tell me he didn't like it. But, he said, "I don't think that's my kind of movie. I liked John Carter better." Really, that is probably a good thing.

Date with Bo and Melia

On Saturday Bo and Melia came up and we went to the Carnival of the Animals at the Utah Symphony. The concert was specifically for children and they had a Children's Dance group perform. It was kind of like visiting a family ward after being in a single's ward forever- much noisier audience. Melia did quite well, although she was pretty bored until the dancers came on. She said her favorite part was the fishes and she thanked me for inviting them. Afterwards we went to Tucanos, one of Bo's favorite places. Oh man, oh man. Such a terrible abundance of good food. Melia's favorites are the baby corn from the salad bar and the chicken hearts. Mine are the collard greens, beans, the pineapple and fried bananas, and the bacon wrapped turkey. I think Bo likes almost all the meats and the traditional black beans and bread crumb topping.

I did run again Saturday morning- well, a combo of walk/running- 3 miles. I am sensitive to dehydration and can get pretty sick. I tried to drink a lot during and after the run, but still ended up with a headache that lasted the rest of the day. I was pretty wiped out Sunday when Stu and I went for a 3 mile walk, but I guess my body needs to get used to all this again. Here is a fun version of the performance we heard on Saturday, with Bugs and Daffy:

Running Again

On Sunday we had a Break the Fast gathering of cousins at Bo's house. It was super fun to see everyone. Almost all of the McArthur/Thompsons in Utah were there. It was so fun! Last time we did a similar gathering, Laura commented that it was strange not having any of the parents there. Like we are all pretending to be grown up. Ha ha...

Anyway, Shalei told me she was thinking of running the Utah Valley Half Marathon in June. It is almost all downhill, not too steep, along the Provo River Trail. So, it looks like we are doing it! I think my roommate Tiffany may join us too. I haven't run since the Bryce Canyon Half about a year and a half ago, so I am going to really have to jump in with the training. I will post updates on here as another method of keeping myself accountable. The plan is to run at least three times per week. I did get up early and run two miles this morning. Woohoo! Ok- it was a combo of running/walking- about 2.3 miles in 30 minutes, but I did it and I didn't hate it. :)

Beyond The Secret and The Power of Positive Thinking

"… There is another kind of faith, rare indeed. This is the kind of faith that causes things to happen. It is the kind of faith that is worthy and prepared and unyielding, and it calls forth things that otherwise would not be. It is the kind of faith that moves people. It is the kind of faith that sometimes moves things… It is a marvelous, even a transcendent, power, a power as real and as invisible as electricity. Directed and channeled, it has great effect." (Boyd K. Packer, "What is Faith?" "Faith" [Salt Lake City: Desert Book Co., 1983], p. 42, emphasis added)

Isn't it amazing to think of the power available to us as we learn to exercise faith in Christ? I gave a talk on this subject a few years ago. If you are looking for more on the subject, check it out here.

Why still single?

For anyone who has ever wondered about me or any other great 30+ single person you know, this article describes the situation for a lot of us. It is written about men, but can also apply to women. I know because I am a woman and these patterns describe me almost perfectly.

Common patterns:

1. They suffer from excessive pressure caused by anticipatory anxiety.

"they feel anxious about disappointing the person they date. This causes additional pressure that makes them anticipate what their date may be thinking, feeling, or expecting. This creates even more anxiety and causes them to analyze what they are feeling (or not feeling) and take action quickly so as to not disappoint or hurt their date.

What they don’t realize is that this very concern actually inhibits their ability to have fun, relax, and feel a deeper connection. They analyze their emotions so closely that is is difficult for them to feel positive and spontaneous emotions. As time goes on, the added pressure makes it more difficult for them to believe that they will ever get out of the trap."

2. Many of the people they date inadvertently add even more pressure.

"the people they date tend to become excessively available, accommodating, and committed too early in the process. These women or men are often very understanding and supportive, which further adds pressure to the men or women to not hurt them... When the people they date are not anxious for commitment, these men(or women) feel less anxiety, and as a result their positive emotions come more easily. Only after investing in the person (without pressure) over a period of months (while also having a lot of fun), they feel a deeper emotional connection. "

2. When it comes to dating these men(women) feel disconnected from God.

"These men(or women) have strong testimonies and many powerful spiritual experiences; however, when it comes to dating, mate selection, and the decision to marry, often these men(or women) feel that God is silent, which only adds to their fears and doubts.

Without feeling a strong emotional attachment, these men(or women) just stalemate or break up. Of course, in most cases, God probably wants them to decide for themselves, but the different possibilities (and fear of making the wrong decision) only add to their doubt and confusion.

This anxiety and doubt can be lessened when others express faith and trust in them and in the many blessings that marriage will give them. In many ways, these men(or women) need an abundance of positive and faith-filled messages to combat their anxiety and strengthen their faith and confidence––rather than receiving criticism or lectures on why they aren’t progressing to marriage." YES, YES, YES!!! And thank you for all of you have been so supportive in so many ways.

A Picture Thought

We are the Music Makers and We Are the Dreamers of Dreams...

I saw this Rainbow Eucalyptus tree on the Road to Hana in Maui. I thought the trees were magical. The quote comes from a poem written in 1874 by Arthur O'Shaughnessy and quoted by Willy Wonka.

The Other Side of Down

If you need to hear something positive today, listen to this. I heard this at his Christmas concert and it became one of my favorites. Fun, upbeat music, with a great message.



Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, Down, (Down, Down)

Here I am with all these questions hanging from my ceiling low
One by one they all keep telling me I told you so
Everywhere I turn I see red lights flashing over my head
Oh no, oh no, oh no
In a whirl-wind spinning, yeah somehow it knocked me off my feet
But I know better than to let it get the best of me,
I could give up, I could stay stuck, I could move on

So I put one foot front of the other,
No, no, no, nothing's gonna break my stride,
I keep climbing, gonna keep fighting until I make it to the other side of down-own
Down-own, Down-whoa-oh-ow-own

In the sky, I'm standing under all I see is endless rain
I think I spot a silver lining hiding in the gray
I might get tossed around, but I'm always bouncing back
Oh, oh, oh
I could give up, I could stay stuck, or I could move on,

So I put one foot front of the other,
No, no, no, nothing's gonna break my stride,
I keep climbing, gonna keep fighting until I make it to the other side of down-own
Down-own, Down-whoa-ah-ow-own
Down-own, Down-own, Down-whoa-ah-ow-own

On the other side of down
It keeps calling me
Where I wanna be
On the other side of down
It keeps calling me
Where I wanna be

Ohhh, I put one foot front of the other,
No, no, no, nothing's gonna break my stride,
I keep climbing, gonna keep fighting until I make it to the other side of down-own
Down-own, Down-whoa-ah-ow-own
Down-own, Down-own, Down-whoa-ah-ow-own