GratiTuesday

This one will be short since I am in the middle of finishing my last EMPA class. Woohoo!

Today I am grateful:

1) To live in such a beautiful area.

2) For warm evenings when everyone is out walking or riding their bikes. Just like tonight at Daybreak Lake.

3) For the BYU Women's Services Writing Retreat that I was able to attend on Friday, for free! You can check out their blog here.

Pushing Daisies

My friend Veronica recently introduced me to this show. Touted as a "forensic fairy tale", the series is known for its unique visual style, quirky characters, and fast-paced dialogue.(Wiki) The story follows Ned, a pie shop owner who can bring the dead back to life. It is also about his romance with his childhood sweetheart- who he cannot touch, or she will be dead, again. I know, sounds weird, and it is. But, it is quite clean, and funny, and has some charming, though very odd characters, and some great quotes.

Here are a few of my favs:

Olive: Wouldn't it just be rock 'n roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back? 'Course that would be a different universe and something else would probably suck.

Chuck: I can’t even hug you? What if you need a hug? A hug can turn your day around.
Ned: I’m not a big fan of the hug,
Chuck: Then you haven’t been hugged properly. It’s like an emotional Heimlich.

Ned: Everything we do is a choice. Oatmeal or cereal. Highway or side streets. Kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It’s the best anyone can do.

My Mommy

She loves me more than anyone in the whole world. My brothers could tell you the same thing. Sometimes she might drive us a little crazy with worrying over us. But ,we know it's just because she loves us sooooo much, and wants us to be happy. No matter what, she is always there for me. She thinks I am the most wonderful, amazing, talented, beautiful young woman she knows. She loves Heavenly Father and has a strong testimony of the gospel. Because of her, I have always known that I am daughter of God. She works hard to achieve her goals. At the time in life when some people are planning for retirement, she went back to school and earned a Master's degree. My Mommy is smart, passionate, and a whole lot of fun.

Here are a few quotes that made me think of her:

A mother's yearning feels the presence of the cherished child even in the degraded man. George Eliot

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes ( Like I said, no matter what.)

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. ~Robert Brault

"Making a decision to have a child -- it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."- Elizabeth Stone (I thought this one was kind of funny, and that mom could probably relate.)

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

Mom,

You are my truest friend. Thanks for always being there, and for teaching me the most important things.

Love Always and Forever,

Azure

Monkey Trap

From Urban Dictionary:
a trap designed to catch animals too smart to fall for an ordinary trap i.e. monkeys and people.
The original monkey trap involves a hollow coconut chained to a stake and baited with food. It has a hole large enough for the monkey to put its hand into, but too small to remove its hand while holding the bait. The monkey needs only to let go to escape, but gets caught because it refuses to let go in its panic to keep its precious find.

Our Sunday School teacher this week used the monkey trap to illustrate the parable of the rich young man. He ran to the Savior to ask what he should do to inherit eternal life. But, went away grieved because the answer- the one thing he lacked- was also the one thing he felt he could not do. The lesson made me think of the things that keep me back, slowing my progression and perhaps my access to greater blessings. Bad habits, negative thoughts, fears, misguided wants...

More on Unexpected Blessings

I was running late this morning, and then couldn't find my keys. After checking under all the couch cushions, and dumping out my purse just to be sure, I did a quick sweep under my bed. Then, I knelt by my bed and said a quick prayer. As soon as I finished, I put my hand down next to my bedside table, and there they were. This has happened multiple times. I wonder why I don't just start there, on my knees, every day. So, I guess, that one I kind of expected. It seems somehow wrong to say that- kind of presumptuous, or demanding. But, I guess sometimes faith does work that way.

The real reason I am writing though is because of what happened at work later today. A couple came in to apply for assistance. They brought with them their sweet 10-week-old baby. Their son, born more than 15 years after their other two children, has Down's Syndrome. Shortly after he was born, the father lost his job and the family's health insurance was terminated.

I was so impressed with this couple. They spoke to each other with respect and kindness. Dad held the baby while mom filled out the paperwork. The dad cooed and played with his baby and seemed to be full of pride and awe of his little boy. They worked as a team, and they had a spirit of true joy about them. They talked about the unexpected hardships of the past few months with acceptance, even ironic humor, but not with bitterness or resentment. Mom said, "We are excited for our new adventure. We know that he(the baby) will bring many blessings and wonderful people into our lives."

I want to be more like them, facing changes and challenges with faithfulness and gratitude.

Rewriting Dreams

I am currently reading A Single Voice by Kristen M. Oaks. I am about half way through, and feeling like I am reading a message that was meant for me. I'd recommend it to anyone who is single or to anyone who knows someone who has been single for longer than expected.

Which brings me to my topic... The title of the section I just finished in the book is "Be Ready to Rewrite the Dream."

A few years ago, I read another book titled These Is My Words by Nancy Turner. This is about a girls growing up in frontier America. She loves books and dreams of going to college. Eventually, she marries a good man and starts a family. She watches with some sadness, and a little resentment, as her dream of advanced education slips away. One day, surrounded by her children and loving husband, she realizes that she is happy- that she loves her life- just the way it is. She is filled with joy and gratitude, as she says, "I declare, it is like some other part of me made up some rules about happiness and I just went along with them without thinking. My heart is lightened so much that I am amazed at how sad I felt for so long."

Sister Oaks says that "Our expectations will nearly always differ from the realities that come to us."

So true! I planned to go to college, get my math degree in four years, maybe go on a mission, and then come home and get married. You think you know where you will be in a year, who you will be living with, what kind of a job you'll have, and then life happens.

Sister Oaks quotes a friend who said, "What I dream of and desire often has little to do with the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for me. "

We should have goals, but at times we have to readjust. As we are planning our lives, we need to include the Lord. Adversity may help us to be flexible, and to "clarify what is truly essential and dear to us." I tend to get really comfortable where I am, even if I am not totally happy with it. When I don't seek the changes I need, at times the Lord has kind of pushed me forward by making it impossible to stay put. Sometimes it hurts and I rebel. But, as I adapt, and open myself up to new opportunities, I see the Lord's hand in my life. I am so grateful for the many unexpected blessings that came from the things I haven't planned.

Everybody Wins!

I recently read the book Getting to Yes for my leadership class. Fisher and Ury describe a common sense approach to negotiations based on principles and interests where everyone can come out as a winner. It was an easy read, and I learned a lot from the book. But, I learned much more from getting to practice these tools in class.

I was very nervous about having to spend 45 minutes negotiating one-on-one. I was representing a large oil company trying to buy a service station from the current owners. I knew from class that I wanted to be the first to speak- to set the anchor price, but hesitated a moment. As soon as my classmate presented her initial offer, I felt panicky. I regrouped and came back with a much lower offer. But, this did not give me much room for bartering, and we were soon at a standstill, ...I thought.

Agnes suggested that perhaps we had said all we could and should return to class. But, I knew there had to be a way to find something that would work. So, we kept talking, finding out about each other's interests, and coming up with creative solutions. Even after we finished, I felt like I might have lost. In fact, the teacher came in to observe and said, "I thought for sure your negotiations were going to fail."

I didn't realize how much my paradigm really was distributive(win-lose). I always had a sense that my more reserved, quiet personality was somewhat doomed to lose when faced with stronger, more dominant types.

As we discussed the experience with our class, I realized that we had come up with an imaginative and plausible solution that could benefit both parties. I discovered that my strengths as a negotiator are in my patience, determination, and ability to listen, to understand and relate to people's needs and wants. I also learned that, if I am willing to express myself, to be a little more vulnerable and assertive, I can get more of what I want out of life. And this does not have to be at someone else's expense. Life is abundant!

Indexing and Who Do You Think You Are?

My cute roommate Tiffany is over Familysearch indexing for our ward. Familysearch gathers, preserves, and shares geneological records worldwide. Indexing is done by volunteers who type in the data from original handritten records. Anyone can do it. Just go here to get started, or talk to the indexing person in your ward. It is really fun, and a great way to do service- from your own home, anytime. Warning: this can be addicting. Our ward is currently having a friendly competition with another single's ward, which make it even more fun. Seriously though, you really start to feel a connection to these people(the spirit of Elijah, perhaps?) I often start to wonder about their lives- why they immigrated to America, and how things turned out for them here, what happened to this young widow's husband, and how did she manage? I wonder if someday I will get to meet them, and share stories. And sometimes I think of my own future family and the legacy I might leave for them.

Tiffany and I always pull out our laptops and index while watching our favorite shows. One of my favs to watch while indexing is Who Do You Think You Are? The show is a documentary that follows a different celebrity each week as they trace their family tree. Some of the stories are pretty amazing. You can go here to watch episodes online.

A Tale of Two Cities

Today I saw a production of Tale of Two Cities at the Hale Center Theater in West Valley. I have been able to attend several plays at the Hale Theater, including Scarlett Pimpernel, Fiddler on the Roof, and Christmas Carol, and have thoroughly enjoyed each one.

Dicken's Two Cities is a powerful story of love and redemption, set during the horrors of the French Revolution and the terrible oppression that led to it. The story illustrates the choice each of us faces when meeting with tragedy- to harden our hearts and withdraw into darkness, or to keep our hearts soft and draw closer to God and others. I couldn't stop the tears during the final scenes, and when we stood for the ovation at the end, I felt like we were cheering for the all of the good in every one. Carton thought of himself of as nothing but a worthless drunk, but he became a saint and a savior, and the power is in each of us.

The Hale Theater is known for the technicality of its productions. We were impressed by the details and the seemless way in which they moved from scene to scene. The music was at times touchingly sweet, as they prayed for the innocence of a little girl, and at times haunting and powerful, in the case of Madame DeFarge.

If you can, I would highly recommend seeing the production. If not, read the book, even if you already have.

Lark Rise to Candleford

A while ago, I was visiting a charming blog written by Marie, in England. She listed the show, Lark Rise to Candleford, as one of her "smilemakers." Go here to read what she says about the show. I subsequently rented Season 1 at the library and fell in love. If you enjoy Jane Austen movies, or James Herriott books, or Elizabeth Gaskell stories, go check it out. Lark Rise now airs in America on PBS. In Utah, it is on Saturday nights. I love it for its sweetness, and wisdom, and, of course, a bit of romance. I've already got Mom hooked. Sorry Dad. :)

Birthdays Aren't So Bad ~ Part II

As I said in the previous post, I really was not looking forward to my birthday this year. The thought of the impending, inescapable date made me cringe. This was probably due in part to some negative past experiences(see previous post).

Another reason for my birthday reticence is that I don't like to be the center of attention, and did not want anyone to feel obligated to come. Talking to Tiff about her birthday plans last night, I realized I am not the only one who feels that way. I have learned that we are rarely the only ones who have ever thought or felt what we do. Maybe that is part of the shared experience of being human…

Back to the topic…. Luckily, since my sweet roommate Ester and I have birthdays only a few days apart, we had a combined party. This took off some of the pressure and stress of having all the focus on me.

I woke to a text from a dear friend telling me to check my porch.

When I opened my bedroom door, this was my first birthday surprise of the day. So cute! I have the sweetest roommates! Oh, and they gave me an adorable apron, since they know how much I love to cook. Now, I don't have to risk messing up my clothes, and get to be soooo cute while I cook! (I'll be sure to include a picture of it in another post.)

And waiting on the porch...

At first, I just stared at it and wondered what 11:34 meant- a scripture reference, or some urban dictionary reference, like 4:20? Finally, I looked inside the Happy Birthday bag and found envelopes for every hour from 7:34 to 4:34. I felt like a kid, watching the clock until the next "34" came so I could open my next surprise- all kinds of things that could only have come from people who knew me really well… Herdez salsa with a spoon ;), funny and inspirational youtube videos, pretty, sparkly earrings, wishing cranes, and delicious cupcakes(pumpkin with a delightful caramel frosting, peanut butter and chocolate, orange poppy seed). It made me feel like I got to spend my whole day with friends.

In the afternoon, I met up with Laura to go to Melia's princess dance class- the cutest thing ever. After that, Bo and I went to the High School to play tennis. When we got back to the house, Laura had made whole wheat pizza from scratch. I could eat this every week, maybe every day. So, we had birthday dinner and celebrated with the girls- party hats, presents(Melia gave me a rocking horse she had picked out herself, and a handmade card), and yummy raspberry cheesecake.

After the girls were in bed, Vero, Shalei, Brianne, and Erin all came over and we spent the rest of the night chatting. Vero drove all the way down from Bountiful even though she was jetlagged from her trip to Europe and did my nails while we visited.

The birthday party on Friday was a lot of fun too. All the people I was wanting most to see were there. And did you see the pretty(and deliciously homemade) chocolate cake? I love sharing a birthday with Ester. Oh, and then, I got to see The Secretariat, and you know how I love horse movies.

34 was perfect -because I did exactly what I wanted to do- because when people asked me what I wanted I was not afraid to tell them- because I have been blessed with wonderful friends and family- and because Birthdays are

Fun!