Beyond The Secret and The Power of Positive Thinking

"… There is another kind of faith, rare indeed. This is the kind of faith that causes things to happen. It is the kind of faith that is worthy and prepared and unyielding, and it calls forth things that otherwise would not be. It is the kind of faith that moves people. It is the kind of faith that sometimes moves things… It is a marvelous, even a transcendent, power, a power as real and as invisible as electricity. Directed and channeled, it has great effect." (Boyd K. Packer, "What is Faith?" "Faith" [Salt Lake City: Desert Book Co., 1983], p. 42, emphasis added)

Isn't it amazing to think of the power available to us as we learn to exercise faith in Christ? I gave a talk on this subject a few years ago. If you are looking for more on the subject, check it out here.

Why still single?

For anyone who has ever wondered about me or any other great 30+ single person you know, this article describes the situation for a lot of us. It is written about men, but can also apply to women. I know because I am a woman and these patterns describe me almost perfectly.

Common patterns:

1. They suffer from excessive pressure caused by anticipatory anxiety.

"they feel anxious about disappointing the person they date. This causes additional pressure that makes them anticipate what their date may be thinking, feeling, or expecting. This creates even more anxiety and causes them to analyze what they are feeling (or not feeling) and take action quickly so as to not disappoint or hurt their date.

What they don’t realize is that this very concern actually inhibits their ability to have fun, relax, and feel a deeper connection. They analyze their emotions so closely that is is difficult for them to feel positive and spontaneous emotions. As time goes on, the added pressure makes it more difficult for them to believe that they will ever get out of the trap."

2. Many of the people they date inadvertently add even more pressure.

"the people they date tend to become excessively available, accommodating, and committed too early in the process. These women or men are often very understanding and supportive, which further adds pressure to the men or women to not hurt them... When the people they date are not anxious for commitment, these men(or women) feel less anxiety, and as a result their positive emotions come more easily. Only after investing in the person (without pressure) over a period of months (while also having a lot of fun), they feel a deeper emotional connection. "

2. When it comes to dating these men(women) feel disconnected from God.

"These men(or women) have strong testimonies and many powerful spiritual experiences; however, when it comes to dating, mate selection, and the decision to marry, often these men(or women) feel that God is silent, which only adds to their fears and doubts.

Without feeling a strong emotional attachment, these men(or women) just stalemate or break up. Of course, in most cases, God probably wants them to decide for themselves, but the different possibilities (and fear of making the wrong decision) only add to their doubt and confusion.

This anxiety and doubt can be lessened when others express faith and trust in them and in the many blessings that marriage will give them. In many ways, these men(or women) need an abundance of positive and faith-filled messages to combat their anxiety and strengthen their faith and confidence––rather than receiving criticism or lectures on why they aren’t progressing to marriage." YES, YES, YES!!! And thank you for all of you have been so supportive in so many ways.

An Obstacle Course

On Friday night I went to the Wild Horse and Burro Expo here in West Jordan. They had an Extreme Trail Challenge, which is basically an obstacle course for the gentled horses.

Horses have such unique personalities and each team approached the course in a unique way. Some horses seemed to ignore the obstacles, some walked or ran away, many tried to go around the obstacles. Some seemed to pay no attention

to the rider and just do whatever they pleased. As I watched, I thought of how each of us handles life's obstacle course.

Here are some of the things I learned from the horses and their riders:

1. Keep your focus on the goal, not the obstacles. Don't spend too much time analyzing or stewing over a particular challenge.

2. Trust your Master.

3. Keep moving forward. Cross over the river. Don't just sip the water.

4. Looks aren't everything. That golden Palomino was pretty to look at but not too impressive on the course.

5. Have fun! The youngest pair just trotted on through the course. They didn't succeed with every obstacle, but they didn't let failure slow them down. Youth might be an advantage because we have fewer fears and reservations and trust more easily.

6. Each success builds our confidence and faith and helps prepare us for the next challenge.

More on Unexpected Blessings

I was running late this morning, and then couldn't find my keys. After checking under all the couch cushions, and dumping out my purse just to be sure, I did a quick sweep under my bed. Then, I knelt by my bed and said a quick prayer. As soon as I finished, I put my hand down next to my bedside table, and there they were. This has happened multiple times. I wonder why I don't just start there, on my knees, every day. So, I guess, that one I kind of expected. It seems somehow wrong to say that- kind of presumptuous, or demanding. But, I guess sometimes faith does work that way.

The real reason I am writing though is because of what happened at work later today. A couple came in to apply for assistance. They brought with them their sweet 10-week-old baby. Their son, born more than 15 years after their other two children, has Down's Syndrome. Shortly after he was born, the father lost his job and the family's health insurance was terminated.

I was so impressed with this couple. They spoke to each other with respect and kindness. Dad held the baby while mom filled out the paperwork. The dad cooed and played with his baby and seemed to be full of pride and awe of his little boy. They worked as a team, and they had a spirit of true joy about them. They talked about the unexpected hardships of the past few months with acceptance, even ironic humor, but not with bitterness or resentment. Mom said, "We are excited for our new adventure. We know that he(the baby) will bring many blessings and wonderful people into our lives."

I want to be more like them, facing changes and challenges with faithfulness and gratitude.